Bothered....

I watched the final episode of SIX FEET UNDER late yesterday afternoon.

I'd been watching the series in reruns on Bravo. I didn't start watching until the series was well underway (Nate was married with new baby). Despite how flawed these people were and the feeling that I could never ever recommend anyone else watch the show because of how immoral they all were, I was really sucked into their individual stories. In spite of their deep flaws, disturbingly deep emotional scars, complete individual detachment from reality and an only thread-like attachment to each other, I was completely addicted to this show. So yesterday it ended. It was appropriate and yet hauntingly disturbing. I watched the end of it twice because of multiple interruptions and now my brain just keeps replaying it. Everybody died. And not all at once in some tragic traffic intersection or cruise ship sinking.....they each died in their own time, at the end of each of their lives, most at very ripe old ages.

It was so sad and horrifying......and completely appropriate. The symbolism of the journey out into the world, Claire driving to her future, overlapped with scenes of each of them ending their journey.....it left me with such a deep sadness. These people were so LOST. Each one trying to find their own way in the world, believing that there were no consequences for their actions. There was no God to answer to and no one to pray to for help or solace. They were each so completely alone, believing that you are born, you live, you screw up, sometimes find happiness, you screw up your happiness, you are alone, and then you die. It was soooo deeply depressing. I think it bothered me so much because such a large part of the world's population really DOES think that way. They have no hope. They live for the day, play their part of the story and then they die. I am so grateful to know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. That this life life really ISNT' the only thing we have to look forward to.

Well, I just needed to get that off my chest.

Time to go drink some coffee and get Bella some apple cake.